Since the day we went to sunday school, many of us have been trying to outpreform each other. In our first class, the teacher hung up an attendance sheet. If we were good little boys or girls, our names would be accompanied by nice pretty stars under the dates. We tried to come to sunday school as much as we could, so we could be good little children. This unfortunate pattern continued as we got older. As we aged, our struggles became more difficult, and we tried to hide them more. This destructive pattern must reach a point where we realize that this fallacy just is not possible. We can not convince others or ourselves that we are good enough for His love.

Because we aren't. We will never be good enough for this great love/grace God has given us.

This is something that we must come to terms with. Each day that I am living here in Honduras, I am forced to realize my inadaquacies.

I can not stop hunger; let alone hammer nails instead of my thumb.

I can not stop people from living without homes; let alone use a tape measure sometimes (I have screwed up so much the past week for some reason).

I am not able to walk a blameless walk; neither walk down a mountain and not fall on my face.

If I can’t even control my own life, how can I affect the lives of others.?I am literaly useless. Every time I try to accomplish things by my self, I am forced to realize that I am unable to do anything. I guess that’s the beauty of this whole grace thing. Through Christ, some loser like me can do many things that kings can’t dream of.

There are days when I feel that if all I can be is a jar of clay, than that’s what I want to be. Maybe the breaking of me (as a jar of clay) will bring Gideon and the Israelites his victory. Maybe my openness (as a jar of clay) will enable Jesus to turn water into wine. My flexibility (as a jar of clay) creates the possibility for the potter to design his master piece. And if I am nothing but an ugly jar, then I pray God will help humble me to accept the breaking of myself for his glory.

Because a broken jar can be beautiful. Beautiful through God. And I’m fine with bumbling through life if God is with me.


II Corinthians 4:7 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."