So yes, I haven't updated in a while. Ok, it's been a year. Lo siento, no es mi culpa.

Anyways, I'm currently writing the weekly emails for Campus Crusade and I felt it would be a good idea for me to publish them here for safekeeping. So enjoy:)

Dear minions,

I’m bringing sexy back. Yes, the hottness is resurrected.

As always, the email is divided by **** into four separate sections:
introduction, crusade announcements, and a heartfelt goodbye.

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This week, I would like to introduce a new hottness email feature called the
weekly 7. Why seven? Everyone knows God’s favorite number is seven, and
well, I’m God’s chosen electronic communications ambassador. Perfect, huh? I
thought so too.

Seven signs your roommate is whipped and in need of intervention.

1) Arriving home after midnight, you discover your roommate watching The
Notebook. Alone. Granted, he is single at the time and therefore is not
pathetically attached to someone at the hip, but still. It’s a sad thing.

2) The following conversation takes place:
Me: “Ahmm, why is Grey’s Anatomy being recorded on our TV?
Roommate: “I'm TiVoing it for the girlfriend. It’s really not that bad.”

3) It’s an emotional experience every time your roommate answers a phone call
from the girlfriend. Immediately his voice converts back into prepubescent
stage, as if he has just received a kick in the groin (which you doubt
exists). Though Mr. Michael Jackson imitator’s voice is dangerously high, he
is still barely audible owing to the fact he is whispering, which is
possibly due to a slight awareness of his embarrassing metamorphous from a
college male into my teenage sister.

4) When addressing the master of his domain, He hails Her in their cutely
chosen pet names “babe, honey, etc.” The mention of any other title is
considered pure treason, and thusly avoided for fear of fatal consequences.

5) He starts to call you Lindsey and often gazes at you longingly. By the
way, that really freaks me out Dunlap.

6) You can always tell when she is out of town. A puppy dog face overcomes
your roommate for days as he snacks on chocolate in his room, and counts
down the days until her return on his Precious Moments calendar.

7) Suddenly, your roommate’s wardrobe has undergone a magical transformation.
Cute collared button-down shirts with animal logos have become the norm; the
tattered jeans and stained T-shirts and their sophomoric sayings are gone.
The hottness would make fun of such people, but I do wear pink shirts. It
brings out my eyes.

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Announcements:
A) Barn dance is coming! Buy your tickets this week for $3 at Crusade this
week, or for $4 at barn dance. Ladies and Gentlemen (we are culturally
advanced here), bring your baked goods for our favorite emcees to test!
T-shirts will be handed out at CRU on the 9th, so remember to bring your $5.
For more info, contact Angie Galceran at ang886@ufl.edu

B) The Outreach Team is putting on a canned food competition between all the
community groups. Whichever group can gather the most cans of food will earn
a prepared meal with Joelle Paine’s Bible study (if the winners are guys) or
a meal with TJ and Josh Meyer’s community group (if the winners are girls).
The deadline for groups to turn in their cans to the outreach team is Nov.
16, and the dinner will be on Dec. 2. For more information, contact Josh
Meyer at dennis21@ufl.edu

C) Does anyone need a female roommate or a sub leaser for the spring? Stacy
Weaver, a new Cru staff member, is looking for a place of residency. Contact
her at stacey.weaver@uscm.org

D) Nick Stamas, my beloved roommate, is traveling to Italy for the spring
semester and we are looking for a special CRU guy to fill his place in our
apartment.  Sublease prices are flexible and whoever lives with Jordan and I
will have the joy of not only our company but HD TV as well.  Call Nick at
727-686-7551 or email at nstamas@ufl.edu.

E) Two friends of the hottness are looking for an apartment or a house of
females that need two roommates for the spring semester. If interested,
please contact Chalee at chanae321@yahoo.com

F) Want to put an announcement here? Send your announcement to
dearthehottness@hotmail.com by Tuesday night, and please either
 a) Write the announcement as you would like it to appear in the email
 b) Or please give me all the information necessary (Who/What/When/Where/Contact Info), and I will try to make an amazing
summary for you.

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It’s been too long.

Glad to be back,
The hottness

PS. Comments, compliments, and flattery are accepted at
dearthehottness@hotmail.com