Greetings from G-Ville, where we are confronted with a monumental decision: to whom do we hand over the reigns to our once vaunted, now taunted, football program. As an influential member, I would like to let my opinion be heard. I have produced the following candidates who I believe are everything Ron Zook is not.

A Man who can beat the inbreds: Jerry Springer.



"What? He lost to who? Hahahaha"


The suggestion of Jerry Springer for UF coach will have some proclaiming the apocalypse. But please, before sending Jerry Fallwell on me, hear this poor man's reason for his insanity. Ron Zook for some reason had a difficult beating teams from Mississippi. That's right, the University of Florida's great football team has a 0-3 record against Ole Miss and Mississippi State under Zook's reign. The university that invented gatorade has not been able to beat teams whose players go out with 2nd cousin Jackie Jean after the game.

I believe Jerry Springer is the man for this problem. This man is a god to these people, and he would command their utmost respect from the get-go. They go to him when their mom steals their man; why would he not know how to beat them? He interacted exclusively with these people during his tenure as tv show host. He knows how to relate and win against these people. Therefore, I throw Jerry Springer into the candidate pool.

Next,
A Coach who will turn ref's heads and hearts: Salma Hayek
.
"Te amo. No mas faltas, si!"


During Ron Zook's tenure as coach, being a gator fan has been synonymous with signing a creed that designates that you are willing to be screwed over by the black and white striped conspirators. Whether it be ACC refs or SEC refs, these zebras have deliberately tortured my life in ways that have adversely affected my social life.

Why Salma? If Salma Hayek wanted me to walk around in pink fairy slippers, I'd probably wear a pretty tiara with it. Any self-respecting referee is not going to mess with Salma's team, it just wouldn't happen. One argument from her, and the flags might as well be orange and blue. Besides, can I say media guide cover?

Next,
A Coach who is magnificent in the clutch: Hoss
.
"Blitz 'em..... Oh, and where's my headset again?"


It's quite obvious Ron Zook is the worst coach of the 4th Quarter in modern history. He somehow knows how to blow impossible leads (i.e. Miami, FSU, Tennessee, LSU,) and many other games which he blows leads but still somehow barely wins (Arkansas, ArkansasII, Kentucky).

I can fix this. As a self-proclaimed slacker, I have no idea how I have survived this far in my academic life or any other aspect for that matter. I've lost more keys and wallets to be mentioned. Most of my mom's grey hair can be attributed to my lack of discipline. Therefore, I believe my procrastinating ways will be extremely helpful for the football team. Besides, Zook was a hard worker and that obviously didn't work out. Why not a slacker?


In conclusion, I think we can hire the right person and win a national championship next year. Hey, the Red Sox just won the World Series. It could definitely happen.

Hoss

Dear Zook,
I hate your stinkin' guts. You make me vomit. You are the scum between my toes.
Love,
Hoss

If politics bore you, look away and go back to knitting...

If not, here' s a message, I wrote to a person I'm discussing the election with.
Thanks so much for your response. As a torn voter who takes his vote seriously, I am confused on whom to vote on for this upcoming election.

Environment

I wholeheartedly agree with John Kerry on the Environment. From the start, George W. Bush has shown reckless abandonment when it comes to the nature of our country. To do this, he has broken international treaties, and refrained from signed other popular treaties. Bush is a man for big business/corporations, and those silly environment protections get in the way of his corporations. So I trust John Kerry when it comes to environment

Economy

Next, I am torn economically on issues with John Kerry and Bush. I am a compassionate fiscal conservative (what is that? I don't know either). I hate big government; I view the American government as an inefficient beauchracy. I don’t want Uncle Sam to take most of my hard-earned cash (haha, I’m a bagger @ Publix), but I also understand there are services are government needs to provide for us as a society to function. I also am obliged as a Christian to reach out to the poor, but I’d rather do that through my chosen charity then the Government lose my money in paperwork. So where does that leave me with the two candidates? We have a president who thinks he can cut taxes and spend more (why are we going back to the moon??????). If I as a CEO would cut off some of my company’s revenue, lose clientele, and increase spending, would I not be gone faster then Ron Zook after a Vanderbilt loss? But I know it’s not that simple. The Bush theory is, cut taxes, economy recovers, spend more, economy recovers more. Bush’s taxes affected everybody (I like that) but the upper class did get the majority of the tax cut (they pay the most). But was this the time to do this? I tend to believe the upper class will pocket their refunds, rather then spur the economy in a recession. But that’s just me. But John Kerry scares me. Democrat programs scare me. I’m afraid that Kerry is going to spend an innumerous amount of money to try and fix health care, which is a great cause, but is it going to be worth the bill? So I don’t know. In truth, all I want is a president who either cuts taxes and cuts spending, or raises taxes and raises spending. Just don’t raise this deficit. Because you know who will pay for it??? Us. But I give Bush a little bit of a leash on this deficit, because he definitely had some setbacks during his reign. I just don’t know why we’re going to the moon.

Abortion

Now we’re coming to where I disagree with Kerry the whole way. I’m ProLife, and I’m scared at the judicial appointees Kerry would give to the Senate. I think we’re close to overturning to Roe v. Wade, and I’m not sure my hate towards Bush is worth losing these appointees.

Homosexual Marriages

I also disagree with Kerry on homosexual marriages. However, I’m not an idiot, and I realize the President has no say in this matter whatsoever. He can say whatever he wants to, its up to the senate to pass a constitutional amendment. I’m not sure either that it should be in our Constitution. I think it should be up to states, but hey that’s me. And I thought the republicans were all about States’ rights. But that’s another topic.
So in short, I’m a social conservative so that puts me at odds with Kerry. I can’t respect a man who says he believes something but doesn’t live out those believes. That’s a flip-flop if I’ve heard of one

Foreign Policy

Then there’s the most prominent topic….. Foreign Policy..
I just don’t know whom I agree with. Bush sent our troops to war in Iraq, are we safer?????

Pros

Saddam Hussein is out of power. At least we know for sure now, that terrorists won’t be getting help for him

If this Democracy project is successful, then the region is safer, and the other tyrannical regimes will collapse as the people will taste freedom and revolt.

It puts AlQueda on the defensive. The only places they have to run to other harbors, and these governments are scared of suffering consequences if they safeguard them (Libya).

The US had every legal right to take this action. Democrats who deny this, ignore 12 years of broken sanctions.

Bush felt he could not wait because of 9-11. I can definitely understand this. By the way, Bush did not attack Iraq for personal political motives. Not a chance. Any president with a 70% approval rating is not looking for more votes.

Countries are afraid of opposing the US now (Libya)

I don’t care about the UN. It’s failed in its purpose, and its another rant.

Cons

You can’t defeat terror. It’s not an army, it’s a tactic. And who uses this tactic? Angry middle-eastern men who believe the US is oppressing them and has an imperialistic agenda. What group’s numbers dramatically increased because of the Iraqi war? Exactly. We may have just bred a whole new generation of AlQueda.

As a history nerd, I am terrified of the US putting its hands in other countries business. It seems every time Americans overlook sovereignty, we breed hatred, and poverty (Nicaragua, Afghanistan (soviets era) and Iraq (soviets era))

Any country can claim they are using the US’s strategy of attacking first. Could this spark another war (India)

Can Iraq ever climb out of this mess?

The entire American and Iraqi lives lost. Will the end result be worth the great sacrifice?
US lost support from the world. At the time, countries were uniting against the AlQueda. Now, they wonder what our true goals are.

Took focus from AlQueda and Afghanistan. Administration can say whatever they want too, but fact is it did.

The prison scandal was horrible for Middle East PR as you said. Horrible.

Conclusion

Also, what is John Kerry's stance. Really, what is it?

So what’s the true result? Have we really eliminated a threat, or created many new threats?
I really don’t know. That’s my spin. I wish John McCain was president. I wish we didn't have 2 parties. I wish people didn't fight and kill each other. I wish for heaven.

until then.....

Comments???

Random Thought:

What would be more Red Soxish then for Boston to come back from 0-3, then to lose it in game 7. More importantly, be winning the whole game 7, but lose it in the 9th inning? It sounds like its right out of a storybook. I hope the Sox win (i hate the yankes) but still, wouldn't be kinda funny?

Warning: Today's entry is the first part of a series.

Yes, I am seriously considering voting for John Kerry this election. Before some of my friends label me off the deep end, that I have forgotten about abortion, let me speak. Here are some reasons I am considering voting for Kerry/not voting for Bush.

1) I'm still pissed @ Bush for McCain. For those of you who didn't follow the Republican primaries in 2000, Senator John McCain and then Governor George W. Bush were in the midst of an extremely competitive race for the Republican nomination for President. Bush's political people (i.e. the idiot Karl Rove) started claiming that McCain was mentally unstable because of his time spent in Vietnam war camps.

What!!!!???? (That's my highly curious look of bewilderment)


Since when is serving your country in Prisoner of War Camps a detriment to the possibility of being a president!!! This was just done to cover the lack of credentials Bush's youth had. It was still close, until Bush's political advisors phoned up registered republicans, spreading rumors that McCain had an illegitimate black child. First, Bush's people quickly apologized AFTER McCain lost a couple key states that made it impossible for him to win the primary. Next, I have no idea whether it is true or not, but why did this child have to be called a black baby???? Its things like this that makes me seriously consider that the Republican party is still inherently racist.

To stay on Bush's camp' tactics, it makes me wonder what it takes to satisfy their requirements to be a "leader" to fight this war on terror (more on that phrase later). If a Vietnam vet who went through concentration camps won't do it, when a Vietnam vet who protests against a war that most everyone agrees was pointless and wrong use of American lives (include me), but a man who makes the National Guard just because his father has political clout, then who does? The same party kid who had a due?(bush) what??

2) Again, I hate Karl Rove. How could any man make a moderate republican president so divide a nation that at one point, was as united as it had at ever had been? For starters, telling people who disagreed with the president they were unpatriotic is a good start. Since when is demanding reasons why are troops are going to war a bad thing? Is it not our civic duty? Second, I still don't understand why liberal is a bad word. Why is conservative not a bad word? Why is conservatism not associated with segregation, racism, slavery, elitesm, bigotry, sexism, more!! I just don't know why liberalism is so bad. Yes, I think most liberals are wrong, but it was liberalism that gave us democracy, gave slaves freedom, gave women the right to vote, and desegregated our schools. But yet every time their is a major opponent to the republican party they are painted as liberal in an attempt to persuade me to think they are atheistic pigheaded people.



Wow, I haven't even gotten started yet, but I have to go. I have many more reasons why I don't want to vote for either candidate, but it will have to wait till later.

In the meantime, here are some slogans for both campaigns

W'04: Because our children don't need an atmosphere
Kerry04: for schizophrenic people: He agrees with both of us!!
W'04: Come on now. How are we going to laugh at Kerry's speeches?
Kerry04: for the thrillseekers: So you'll stay up everynight thinking if Kerry dies, that Edwards is next
W'04: Because cutting taxes/spending more makes economic sense to Bush
Kerry'04: Because the United Nations has always saved us.
haha, I'm still laughing about the UN

Kerry'04: Because your beliefs shouldn't dictate your life
Man, I got to go
I have so many more ideas for this blog


So little time

So, I'm hoss.....



Now get out of here

Random things to update on:

First, thanks to everyone who wished me, partied with me, called me, talked to me, or looked at me in a good way on my birthday. Hoss was very happy.

Quote of the week: This came from my brother "So, do you guys have gay pride week here all the time or what? Every time I come up here there's rainbows everywhere."

Haha, obviously, my family comes up for my birthday every year. And obviously, October 8th is the starting date of the gay pride week. So if you ever want an easy way to remember my birthday, just think of me when you see the gay pride banners. And I mean that in the most heterosexual manly way possible.


An orange suit modeled by the sexy Hoss. Fashion designer is Goodwill.


The amazing suit above is the infamous gameday suit I wear @ Goodwill. This suit has made it confusing for me to realize if women are just checking me out, or merely looking at my pimpilicious suits.

Some comments made about my suit:
"P-I-M-P" Look at the pimp! (two LSU fans, yelling at me)
"I'm standing on the corner of 13th and north-south. Just look for this guy in this bright orange suit. You can't miss him. Yes, I'm standing right next to him. And there's this kid next to him that looks exactly like him. Keep looking, he's hard to miss" (gator fan directing friend on cell phone)
"What are you a Tennesse fan?" (some gator fan who to who I replied, "yes, im coming as a Tennesse fan to a LSU & Florida game. you got me")
"Wow" (some guy my brother overheard)
"Well, I think that's an orange suit" (another guy my brother heard)

I'm not done, but this is it for now..

gtg to bible study

Right you are Ken,
Hoss

And then Hoss turned 21.

The World HAS NEVER been the same since that fatefull day October 8, 1983. And it never will Be. Kings will pass away, but there is one mortal thing we as a human race will always know....

That the Legend of Hoss will go on... The laurals of history shall be filled his adventures; how he conquered great nations, and their daughters too. Yes, Let us celebrate this great man they call, .... the Hoss

And so it was, and so it will be.
Forever and ever, on October 8.

P.S. the coming week we will be writing some of Hoss's fondest memories.

This will not be something to miss:)

And Hoss thinks he will talk in 3rd person from now on.

So be it Hoss.

Goodbye boys and girls,
Hoss

Now Playing: Anything but Maroon Gay

News of the Day:
1.Apparantly, recruitment has reached record levels in the Israeli Army
2. All I want to know is when women will pay taxes for me listening to them?
3. Now women can have a man to cuddle with them every night. He doesn't cheat, doesn't talk back, he listens!, and he will be ready for you every night.
Oh, he isn't alive either. Hey, None of us are perfect. And apparantly Japanese women are loving this man-shaped pillow. How about this American women? Would you all want one?

I really got to go study. I came across those stories in yahoo news, i thought they would be worth your time.

Goodbye boys and girls,
Hoss

Now Playing: The Vines "Get Free"
Why do Aussie rockers just do it better?

Hoss Website of the day: www.datetosave.com
funny stuff.

All I have for now is some random comments

First Up:
Meteorological Fun
Ok, these guys go to school to study the science of weather forecasting. Hurricane specialists, in particular, study the science of hurricanes in order to accurately predict the path of these insane monsters towards land. The more accurate the prediction, the more lives saved, money saved, etc.

And below is what these great geniuses come up with:



Meteorologists at their finest

This map was made by the National Hurricane Center a couple weeks ago while Hurricane Jeane was out at sea. They really went out on a limb


Next item:
Ben Hill Griffen Teleprompter
After every game, it is a tradition for the Gator faithful to stay behind and sing our Alma Matter. Nobody really knows it, so we all point our eyes to the jumbotrons for the scrolling lyrics of the songs. Even though its against my ethics to make fun of a Gator besides Ron Zook, I have to say that the Ben Hill Griffen Teleprompter has less rythem than me. And that's pathetic boys and girls. Often while I'm singing/tryingtoshoutinawaythatmightresemblesometypeofmusicalability, I get confused at which song we are singing. The one the band is playing 5 seconds ahead, or the one the teleprompter is scrolling too.

Yah, not a lot of writing for now.
Unfortunately for you, I'll update soon

HotforJesus,
Hoss